


Sunshine

by peanutbitter



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: ChanBaek - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, broken relationship, minor sebaek, they might get back together eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 00:10:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13752111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutbitter/pseuds/peanutbitter
Summary: When a relationship ends, there might always be a chance that one of the parts will try to get the broken pieces back together.Baekhyun wants Chanyeol, Chanyeol wants the world and the world is not the same when they're apart.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes, i wil try my best to improve.

The boy stroked the ring on his finger absently minded; the cold and no longer polished metal seemed to weigh as much as the heart in his chest.

"Maybe I should leave” Chanyeol's voice, always exuberant, didn’t carry the usual joy, his tone cold and distant. He held a shirt firmly in his hands. The shirt Baekhyun wore to sleep, which was two sizes larger than his and which he had stolen from Chanyeol’s drawers one day.

Perhaps because it was common for people to believe that their relationships would last forever, Baekhyun believed. There was nothing more certain than the way Chanyeol held him firmly against his chest on rainy nights, when the heater was not enough or just for an excuse to nestle on the covers. Baekhyun never thought of seeking that kind of comfort with another person or that the calm, breezy relationship would actually end. He could not remember for sure how, after all, he had not even realized there was something wrong between them. But was there something wrong?

Baekhyun had always been the guy who gave everything to a relationship, not that Chanyeol did not play his part, but Baekhyun always plunged deeper.

Maybe Baekhyun just liked Chanyeol so much, his confident presence, his warm body and easy smile. Maybe Baekhyun liked it a little too much more than he was supposed to.

Maybe, just maybe, he had turned a blind eye when Chanyeol had begun to distance himself, when the smiles were no longer so spontaneous and the touch of his fingers not so frequent, when Chanyeol turned to the other side of the bed, instead of resting an arm over Baekhyun.

Maybe, just maybe, Baekhyun had ignored the sweet scent that had accompanied Chanyeol since a few months ago.

-

Remember when we first met? I saw you sitting in the middle of the park, you held your old guitar, a gift from your grandfather, and sang some strange music. Remember how scared I was? It was late at night, the streets dark when the lights were useless. I was out to walk and you called me stupid. "Hey boy, are you going to walk or just stare at me?" I was going to walk, Chanyeol. I swear I was, but I stood there staring at you like dumb, paralyzed by fear. And you laughed at me, of course. Typical of you, who sees in me what can’t see, or should I say saw? You told me that I didn’t have to be afraid of you and called me to listen to a song. Me, the idiot, I went. Yes, who trusts a stranger who seems to be stoned, singing in the middle of the empty park? Remember the music you played for me? Your voice, a little out of tune, would murmur "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine; you make me happy when skies are gray...” Chanyeol, there was a day when I actually believed I was your sunshine. I like to think that I really was, even for a brief moment. I wanted to know why it ended, but I wanted to know so many things, Chanyeol. Remember when you kissed me in front of that famous restaurant? You said it was a consolation prize for not being able to take me there, because we did not have a penny in the day. I didn’t want to have dinner there; you knew I didn’t like that kind of place. You always made an excuse to steal a kiss, though. Do you do that to that person? Are you still like this? Sometimes when I think of you, and I think of you often, I remember how you hated your ears and I catch myself laughing in the corners of the rooms. One day I looked at you and I felt love, today I look at your pictures and I miss you. I'm sorry, Chanyeol. I'm sorry for both of us, for being that way. You wanted the world and I understand, but I just wanted you. I know that one day I will be able to look at your picture and feel comfort, I will think about the good days and I will smile again, I will move on. I just hope you remember me, Chanyeol. Remember Baekhyun, the boy who sang with you in a park. Remember Baekhyun, the boy who kissed you in the rain when the umbrella broke. Remember Baekhyun. I know what you might be thinking, if I'll ever let you go. I do now, and I hope you are happy. You deserve it like no one else. You're so loved Chanyeol, please don’t forget.

 

_...you'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away._


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm such a sap

The lighting was low, the room damp and cold. The covers lay on the floor. On the bed, propped against the wall, the boy was shaking.

“But why, Chanyeol? Was it something I did? Please…” Baekhyun had murmured, his beautiful eyes filling with tears that soon crept down his face. His voice sounded small before Chanyeol, who had closed his eyes.

Chanyeol had always liked music. To touch the strings of his guitar quietly, to sing a song in the middle of class when he thought no one was listening, to scream the lyrics of Smells Like Teen Spirit in his room when his mother was not at home. Chanyeol ended up liking Baekhyun, as well as those who don’t want anything, when the boy sat next to him in a deserted park and sang quietly, ashamed. The calm voice of the other matched perfectly with the sound of his guitar, and Chanyeol felt that that was enough.

He was not sure when the meetings in the park became meetings at the corner cafe, at the light of the day, or when the friendship had become something more. He only knew that one day, three years after meeting Baekhyun, he had woken up with a weight on his chest.

Chanyeol, like Baekhyun, was young. He had a job at a record store that paid enough; Baekhyun had a part-time job at a day care center. They lived in a small house, full of trinkets and old things that they collected. They would wake up together, go to sleep together, go to meetings together. Chanyeol knew it was not Baekhyun's fault, but Chanyeol wanted more. He wanted something that was missing in his life, which he longed for as a teenager. It hurt to see the routine his life was stuck in.

Chanyeol had always wanted to be a song writer.

Baekhyun had always wanted to write books.

He loved writing, loved to mess with words and notes until they formed a song. But there was the monotony, the boredom, the lack of change. So the inspiration, the will, had disappeared. And Chanyeol had been afraid. Was it going to be like this forever?

At first he had done it without realizing. One Friday, early in the evening, some of the other guys who worked at the store called him to go to a bar, as they always did.

For the first time, Chanyeol went.

For the first time, Baekhyun slept alone.

The bar wasn’t fancy, on the contrary, it was a medium-sized place, low lighting. On the small stage, an unknown band played. In Chanyeol’s hand was a glass of cheap whiskey. Besides him, a girl who frequented the store held his arm tightly, even after Chanyeol had said he was engaged. He wasn’t sure how it had happened, but he spent the night at the girl's apartment, Eunji. Maybe it was the excitement of doing something wrong, that feeling of blood running through his veins, the skin-tight nerves he hadn’t felt in a while, the freeing sensation of alcohol.

He had returned home too Baekhyun the next morning, crumpled clothes, messed up hair, shame on his face, murmuring “a lot of movement in the store, I fell asleep there” under his breath. Baekhyun had smiled, made a cup of coffee and smoothed his hair as he drank the liquid, which was coming down burning his throat. He had spent the Saturday lying on the couch, Baekhyun by his side, kissing his cheeks.

When the happiness of alcohol had passed, regret and guilt were the only things left.

But guilt was not enough to keep Chanyeol from returning to the bar the following week, back to Eunji's bed, back to danger, and finally back to his guitar and his compositions.

Returning to Baekhyun's embrace with the coffee cup and the cozy sofa.

Chanyeol went along with his double life. Slowly the guilt had faded, the fear of being discovered no longer existed. Neither Baekhyun. Chanyeol could only think of long hair, the curve of his guitar and the music that returned to his mind, along with new opportunities.

Eunji knew someone who could introduce him to a record company, she said. He could write for famous people, leave the record store, and maybe move to another city. What he had with Eunji was not serious and the girl wouldn’t mind if he left. He hardly went “home”, since his vision of the house had changed. Maybe his house was the bar, which was not so much to drink but to play. Maybe his house was Eunji's bed, where he spent a few hours, if not all night. Maybe it was the record store, where he spent most of his day.

When the proposal had come, there wasn’t much to think about. There was a record company in Seoul that had taken an interest in his music. “There's something different” they said. Eunji hadn’t blinked an eye nor cried, just kissed him and wished luck.

When he had told Baekhyun he was leaving, seen the boy burst into tears, he had felt for the first time the weight of his actions.

"Was it something I did?"

"No, Baekhyun. I need to live my life, I’m 24 and I have nothing that guarantees me a future, I can’t live forever in this place. With someone like you”

“Like me?”

“Someone who’s affected so easily, who doesn’t accept changes, someone so introverted and attached to the past. If I want to get somewhere, I'm going to need someone strong by my side, Baekhyun”

“Right”

The last word he had heard from Baekhyun. The boy was still crying, propped up on the doorstep as Chanyeol pushed several pieces of clothing and objects into the suitcases. Baekhyun had not said farewell, nor had Chanyeol. When he had left, the click of the key as it turned in the lock had resounded in his ears. A dazzled man thinks as clearly as a drunk.

Seul was all he had expected and a little more the lights, the air and the sound. Chanyeol had found a small apartment, bedroom, living room, kitchen and bathroom. It wasn’t long before he signed with the label, to write exclusively. He frequented new places every day, met new people, and the lyrics flowed from his head to the papers, his fingers doing magic on the strings of the guitar, on the keys of the piano. Nothing was missing.

It was when a popular singer had recorded one of his songs that Chanyeol had felt it for the first time, that lack. Euphoria was taking care of his body when he had run to his apartment, up the stairs and jumped the steps two at a time. The shock had come when he'd opened the door and nothing. It was just his apartment, empty as ever. And Chanyeol had resigned himself, gone to the refrigerator and getting a beer, sitting on the couch and turning on the TV.

He had gone to bed early that night, his mind as cold as his bed. Chanyeol didn’t want to think about his reaction. How he had run home, ready to raise Baekhyun in his arms and shout the news until the other told him to shut his mouth, laughing. Chanyeol didn’t want to think because Baekhyun was no longer there. There was no one waiting for him at home, no coffee on rainy days or giggles in the middle of the night, when a cold foot touched his legs. It was not only that night, but all that followed. As he played some of his songs, he realized that in the end, they were all about the same person. Some spoke of a mischievous smile, of lovely whispers, others of delicate hands and distinct perfume, of a calm and soft personality like a breeze. There had been a moment when he had thought of writing about Eunji, but there was nothing there that would have to go through long black hair or sweet scent. Memories slowly returned, as dazzling melted away like sea foam. Seoul would become boring before his eyes, the noise would be annoying and the air would suffocate him. It wasn’t long before everything he saw and touched reminded him of Baekhyun in some way. It wasn’t long before the need to return filled his chest, stopping him from breathing. When he had managed to take a few days off, he had left Seoul. Not forever, he said. He just wanted to see how things were, the guys from the store. He didn’t know what to expect when he returned, but he knew it was not the “for sale” sign he had seen when he had passed by his old house.

 

 

_The other night dear, I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms, When I awoke, dear , I was mistaken, so I hung my head and I cried..._


End file.
